The Galbadian Inquistion
by Southern Shinigami
Summary: ONE SHOT! A mishap in the Quad leads to something nobody expected. Homage to Monty Python's Flying Circus' famous sketch. Read and review... please?


**Disclaimer:** Final Fantasy is a creation of Hironobu Sakaguchi and Square-Enix, and was produced by Sony Computer Entertainment, Inc. Also, elements from "The Spanish Inquisition" sketch from "Monty Python's Flying Circus" is owned by Python (Monty) Pictures, ltd., and BBC. I work for neither group, so I own nothing. Please don't sue me...

**Author's Notes**: Okay, after watching "The Spanish Inquisition" sketch, I got to thinking: How would this be like in the world of Final Fantasy? Well... here it is. Hope you enjoy it!

**The Galbadian Inquisition**

**By Southern Shinigami**

Xu was busy in the Headmaster's office, finishing up the work for the week. She was going out on vacation, at the end of the day, and she was taking off for Esthar, as soon as she left the Garden. Just as she was finishing up, there was a knock at the door. "Come in." She said.

Irvine Kinneas came in, looking a little distressed. "Trouble in the Quad." he said.

Xu looked worried. "Oh no. What kind of trouble?"

"OneoftheT-RexaursescapedfromtheTrainingCenter." he said, untelligible.

"Wha - Pardon?" she said confusedly.

"OneoftheT-RexaursescapedfromtheTrainingCenter." he said again.

"I don't understand a word you're saying." Xu told him.

Slightly irritated, and annoyed, he cleared his throat and said "One of the T-Rexaurs escaped from the Training Center."

Xu looked at him in shock. "Oh my, how did that happen?"

"I don't know!" Irvine said, exgaggeratedly, "Squall just told me to come in and say that there was trouble in the Quad, that's all - I didn't expect a kind of Galbadian Inquisition..."

Suddenly, just before Xu could respond, the door suddenly flew open and Seifer Almasy, Rajin, and Fujin ran in. "NOBODY expects the Galbadian Inquisition!" Seifer yelled. "Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency... Our three weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to Edea..."

Xu and Irvine looked at Seifer as he kept correcting himself, thinking _What the hell? _"Our four...no..." Seifer kept trying to correct himself. "Amongst our weapons... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise..." Suddenly, he gave up, sighed and said "I'll come in again." He left, with Rajin and Fuijn close behind.

Irvine just stood there, trying to make sense of what just happened, but nothing was coming to him. All he could make out was "I didn't expect a kind of Galbadian Inquisition..."

Once again, Seifer and the other two came in, busting the door down. "NOBODY expects the Galbadian Inquisition!" Seifer yelled, again. "Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to Edea, and nice paid-for uniforms - Aw damnit!" Once again, he messed up what he was going to say.

He, then, turned to Rajin. "I can't say it, you'll have to say it."

Rajin looked surprised. "What?" He said.

"You'll have to say the bit about 'Our chief weapons are ...'" he whispered.

Rajin looked at him, like the pressure was on him. "I - I couldn't say that, you know...?" Seifer rushed them out, once again.

Irvine looked at Xu, still confused. Once again, for some reason(mainly because the author is making him), all he could say is "I didn't expect a kind of Galbadian Inquisition..."

Once more, the Disciplinary Committee ran in, this time with Rajin in the front. "Er...Nobody...um"

"Expects..."Seifer helped him

"Expects..." He continued "Nobody expects the...um...the Galbadian...um..."

"Inquisition." Seifer continued helping

"I know, I know, ya' know? Nobody expects the Galabadian Inquisition. In fact, those who do expect -"

"Our chief weapons are..." Seifer said, getting annoyed

"Our chief weapons are...um...er..."

"Surprise..."

"Surprise and –"

Finally fed up with Rajin, Seifer stopped him and said "Okay, stop. Stop. Stop there - stop there. Stop." He sighed. "Ah! ... our chief weapons are surprise...blah blah blah." He, then, turned to Fujin. "Fujin, read the charges."

Fujin took out the scroll, and read the charges. "CHARGES. COUNTS OF HERESY" Then she used her regular talking voice and said "'My old man said follow the--'"

"That's enough." Seifer said. He turned to Xu and said "Now, how do you plead?"

"We're innocent!"

Seifer and the Disciplinary Committee started laughing, diabolically. "We'll soon change your mind about that!" Seifer said, diabolically. "Fear, surprise, and a most ruthless– " He started, before controlling himself with a supreme effort. "Ooooh! Now, Rajin -- the rack!"

Rajin went in the hall and came back with a plastic coated dish-drying rack. When Seifer saw it, he clenched his teeth in an effort not to lose control, and hummed heavily to cover his anger. "You...Right! Tie her down."

Rajin and Fujin make a pathetic attempt to tie down Xu to the rack, which apparently Xu didn't seem to mind. After that, Seifer continued the irregular interogation. "Right! How do you plead?"

"Innocent!" Xu declared.

"HA!" Seifer yelled. "Rajin, give the rack-" He looks at the rack, knowing that it's just a useless rack. "Oh dear... give the rack a turn."

Rajin stood there awkwardly and shrugged his shoulders. "I..."

Seifer gritted his teeth. "I know" he said, "I know you can't. I didn't want to say anything. I just wanted to try and ignore your crass mistake."

Rajin tried to sound apologetic. " I..."

"It makes it all seem so stupid." He pouted.

"Shall I..?"

"No," he replied. "Just pretend for God's sake. Ha! Ha! Ha!" He laughed, trying to sound diabolical.

Rajin started to turn an imaginary rack, while Seifer kept whimpering, and Fujin looking on, like she was interested. Meanwhile, Irvine, quietly, creeped out of the room, closing the door behind him. "What in the hell was that?" He said to himself. "I picked the wrong day to quit drinkin'..."

* * *

Okay, I know it was different from what I usually do, but I'm trying something. I might make it a whole thing dedicated to Monty Python and Final Fantasy, depending on the number of good reviews I get, if I get any. Just read and review and let me know what you think. Until next time, later! NI! 


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